The Girl In The Passenger Seat

We wanted to get away. Away from the chaotic city life. We both had a busy week at work.  We went on a roadtrip without even knowing where we are headed. That’s what thrills us the most, the unknown. The little surprises and bumps along the way. The spontaneity. We talked and talked and talked about the things around us, about the people in our lives, about meaningful profound things and non-sense topics. It didn’t matter. We were happy just talking and sitting next to each other. Even during the momentary silence we had, it felt like our hearts were in sync.  As if they are still talking without us knowing.

We decided to open the window. We were out of the city. We both need a breath of fresh air. As I feel the cool wind touching my face, I felt his hand touching mine. He looked at me and told me, “You can sleep. I insist. I wouldn’t mind.” I looked at his eyes and I saw the girl in the passenger seat. I sighed and rested my eyes knowing that the girl in the passenger seat felt safe. She felt loved.

I opened my eyes, held his hand and looked through his eyes. I was not the girl in the passenger seat. It was just a dream. It was either a perfect lie or the sweetest nightmare I have ever had. I blinked but nothing changed. "This is not my passenger seat!" It was never mine. I blinked again and found myself holding the steering wheel. I panicked. I don’t know how to drive. It was as if the world is telling me, “You’re in this thing alone.” I wanted to shout to the world, “I can’t do this. I’ll crash and burn!”  But I have to. I am in charge. I have to drive this on my own. I have to go on with this journey wherever this might be headed. Who knows, maybe I’ll pick up a hitchhiker along the way or a lone traveler like me. Maybe he’ll drive for me. Maybe we’ll take turns. I’ll be in his passenger seat and he’ll be in mine.

/* Finally, after sitting for quite some time in the author’s drafts, it’s out in the open. Thanks to a very supportive friend who thinks that this is beautiful and heartfelt. That this deserves to be posted here so the author can read this five years from now. :P  */

:D

Yay! A very short visit. I will be home for Nanay's 60th birthday. :)

Make A Difference

Maliit man, makakatulong na rin.

I'm Alive. Alert. Awake. Enthusiastic.

I've been surprisingly fine. Maybe because I've long accepted everything. I just haven't grieved yet and grieving, depression, insanity and stupidity are necessities to move pass that event in my life. But I know, one of these days, I'm gonna breakdown and cry. And I did around 3 weeks ago. After a month of doing just fine, as if nothing happened, I broke down and cried all night. Two giant eye bags and one bucket of tears later, I am okay again. I don't know if it's a good thing though. I don't know if I'm going to have another episode. So far, I am alright. I don't have the blank stare moments. I am fine with his existence. I can't say that the feeling is gone and so as the pain but the pain has definitely lessen so much. I've only had one terrible sleepless night and a river of tears in my pillow in the span of two months so I guess kudos to me. Haha. I've also catch up with the series that I am watching. Maybe because I have no one to talk to that much. Thus, I have a lot of free time in my hands. lol.

In a related note, I have noticed that my weekends just passes by when I am watching TV series so I have decided to use my free time wisely. :) I'm so glad I did! I have learned a lot of things in 1 week just because I decided to keep my "series addiction" in moderation. Woohooo! Cheers for a great year ahead. :D

I have also decided to learn how to play the guitar. :)